Walang sukat

Good evening to all, the youth, the yet-to-be-youth and all those in-between.

For course I will write more than just about death. I felt death is a subject I had to address, get it out of the way.

In this regard, unless some very very unlikely accidental fortune should come my way, I will not have much by way of a material inheritance to pass on. I will not apologize or bemoan this reality, it is just what it is; besides, I would rather give you what I can give while I am alive.

For your information, I have always carried a substantial term life insurance policy - never whole life insurance. What this means is that if I died, you would have had an amount that would carry you through for a sufficiently reasonable amount of time without the necessity of other resources. When I retired I took out my last term-life policy for $500,000. I believe it expires in 2015 or 2016 after which time nobody gets anything. Continuing the policy after the expiration date is too expensive, surely not anything I can afford.

Back to present concerns. Paulo said he tried to post a comment on this blog but it was not accepted. I will get this corrected as soon as possible because I want you to comment. Alternatively, if you want to make a post, then use my email address and password. I recall I emailed this information to you. If you do not have it, let me know and I will email it to you again.

I am surprised none of you asked about the title of the blog. Walang sukat means without measure or cannot be measured or without a metric that can measure what one may desire to measure or what one may think needs to be measured. “Walang” means without and “sukat” means measure.

I am sure you all realize that what I write and will write is biased, maybe even shamelessly so. You are duly warned that while what I say will contain material truths what is selected and how these are woven together and given value will reflect by myopia. I will almost always try and portray myself as a tragic hero, a victim of time, circumstance, biology, misfortune and history that struggles to transcend it all. It is my opinion that everyone should portray themselves in like manner, a champion. This being said, I will backtrack and say that mythologies of the champion usually ignores or distorts one's relationship with others, the family community and the environment.

However, this is not to say this is or was – hardly so. There is everything else that is worthy of recollection, too numerous to grasp in a few lines of prose – walang sukat. A good example would be – and I was witness to it all – the moment of each of your births, your first breath, your initial response to the world only to quickly lapse back into a state of quiet and sleep.

When one of you was born (I will not say who), the nurse immediately placed you on a table with a very bright warming light so she could take an impression of your footprint and whatever else she had to do. Right after laying you down, she left, presumably to get whatever she needed.

I was not paying attention. I was focused on you laying there naked as the day you were born. You did not like where you were. You cried, made random movements with your arms and legs. I spoke to you as I leaned over and covered you with my two bare hands. You immediately stopped crying and calmed down.

When the nurse returned I withdrew my hands at which time you started up again. I was in the process of laying my hands on you again when the nurse informed me the light would keep you warm. She evidently thought that was the reason I was placing my hands on you. “It is not the light I said,” and preceded to lay my hands on you. You immediately stopped crying and calmed down. The nurse was surprised. She did her thing quickly, wrapped you in a warmed blanket and handed you to me. I believe I was the first one to hold all of you immediately after birth.

Bias is neither good nor bad, it is just there. One cannot not be biased. Ideally, we know many different biases, those of ourselves and others. Ideally, we know the difference between material facts, opinion, theory and myth. So, it may do you well (I cannot tell you what to do), to take whatever I say with hesitation and caution, maybe as a springboard for further deliberation or as a reason to be curious. At the end of the day, you choose and make for yourself what is best for yourself.

Maybe I am rambling so I will leave it here.